Domestic violence is a problem that has been buried and unspoken of for too long. It is far more complex problem than most understand. The problem of domestic violence lies deep within our homes and the hearts of our families to an extent that is not understood by society at large and by many in the law enforcement community.

Domestic violence is a pervasive and growing problem in our communities. For too long the criminal justice system has failed to prevent the continued increase of domestic violence. Although it is most often hidden from public view, domestic violence in homes across America is a problem that we all should be universally conscious of as it affects us all.

Many of us, both men and women, often deny the existence of domestic violence. While most women are more aware of the problems created by domestic violence many men remain in denial. What is apparent is that all of us must undertake the task of educating ourselves, one another, and, ideally, leaders of our schools, universities, business, the law enforcement community and our lawmakers about the problem of domestic violence in our society today.

The truth is, that many men and some women in law enforcement and the community at large often display intolerance toward victims of domestic violence. The question almost always asked is "why don't they (the victims of domestic violence) just leave the domestic violence relationship?" The reasons for this are numerous and varied.

The truth is that the mental state of many victims of domestic violence has often been psychologically altered or culturally conditioned and they cannot leave the abusive relationship without help. Victims of domestic violence often do not display rational or reasoned behavior because of a myriad of extraordinarily complicated circumstances, many times financial. This is where Turning The Corner plays such a vital and important role.

Many members of our society continue to refuse to offer empathy or compassion for the victim of domestic violence until domestic violence affects one of our own family members or until a friend becomes an abuser or a victim.

Leading advocacy groups for victims of domestic violence claim that more than half of married women (about 27 million women) are victims of domestic violence during their marriage and that more than one-third of married women (18 million women) are battered repeatedly. On the other end, a survey conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health found that about 3 to 4 percent of all families, 1.8 million, have members who engage in "severe" domestic violence that includes kicking, punching, or using a weapon. Helping these women leave domestic violence relationships is the responsibility of many, including law enforcement and organizations like Turning The Corner .

The subject of domestic violence is too often misunderstood by law enforcement as being a small problem of a few men who are seen as wild beasts and who are aggressive and combative creatures that enjoy nothing better than battering, beating, and murdering women and children. The perpetrators of domestic violence are not usually that easily identifiable. And, remarkably, some members of the law enforcement community do not view domestic violence as an issue at all. For them it is nothing more than a specious issue constructed and fabricated in the minds of feminists and is not a problem in America 's enlightened modern society.

The fact is that domestic violence is not as simple as just some men beating women. The nexus of the enigma is social, economic, and institutional power regardless of gender. Women have not been proven more moral then men, they simply remain less uncorrupted by institutional control and political power.

All possible attempts to end the ambivalence of the majority of the American public, in particular the law enforcement community, concerning domestic violence is crucial. Most concerned citizens and occasionally even family violence professionals maintain ideas about convictions concerning domestic violence that are often inaccurate or fabricated "facts." Some people present these "facts" simply to buttress their previously held beliefs about domestic violence. When considering these issues it is essential not to skew or distort the facts. The law enforcement community must draw accurate conclusions concerning the importance of the issue.

An evenhanded review of the issue proves that domestic violence is an important topic that no reasonable person, and especially our law enforcement establishment, can not afford to continue to misunderstand.

Considering the scope and size of the issue of domestic violence it will not be resolved through the intervention of the criminal justice system alone. Also, the desired change that the majority of those concerned with the issue of domestic violence want will not be effected until women control more of seats in the legislative bodies that create change, a problematic issue in itself.

Most of the current literature concerning domestic violence is by academics and researchers who have produced works that frame the difference of ideas held by feminists or chauvinist writers. Often, however, the conviction of the academician or researcher is either absent or buried in obscure and unreadable technical language that most of us cannot interpret.

Another problem is that much of the truth about domestic violence is not measurable, or capable of being quantified by numbers or statistical fact, as so much domestic violence goes unreported or is misinterpreted or ignored by law enforcement officials altogether.

Domestic violence is a problem that remains unseen in many parts of America . Abuse by family members has never been a total mystery to police officers, particularly those officers working in an urban setting. Regardless of the rhetoric, facts demonstrate that most of the domestic violence suffered by children and women occurs behind the closed doors of their homes and that fellow family members commit most domestic violence behind closed doors and out of the sight of law enforcement and the community at large.

Because of the ambivalence of and inability of law enforcement to effect change, organizations like Turning The Corner are needed to help address key issues that keep women from leaving domestic violence relationships. In this case, economic oppression and lack of knowledge of how to handle finances.

Studies show that approximately 85% of the women who leave partner violence relationships return to that relationship. All too often people assume that women stay or return to partner violence relationships because they have low self-esteem. However, the reasons women stay or return is far more complicated than the strength of the woman's character. A significant proportion of women who return to the partner violence relationship attribute their inability to deal with their finances as a major contributing factor, which is often enhanced by the fact that the abuser often has all of the economic and social standing. This is where Turning The Corner plays such a vital role in helping women survivors of domestic violence to leave the abusive relationship when law enforcement refuses to or cannot help.

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Or contact Nancy Salamone at Turning The Corner

About Nancy Salamone
Nancy Salamone is founder of N.A.S. Associates, Inc. a financial services organization that delivers financial management solutions for mid-size and large companies and individual clients. N.A..S. Associates has a unique specialty-women's financial issues, particularly the fears that most women harbor about their ability to handle their personal finances.

Ms. Salamone's previous corporate career includes twenty years at major New York City insurance and financial companies. She rose to the rank of vice president of marketing. She managed corporate budgets in excess of $20 million. But for most of her life, whenever she had to balance her own checkbook, she froze, terrorized. Although she was her household's wage earner, she turned over her entire paycheck to her husband, who retained tight control over all family finances. Although she regularly advised huge corporations how, why, and when to spend their money, she could not imagine how she could manage her money on her own.

Finally, in late 1991, Ms. Salamone found the courage to leave her abusive husband and to "turn the corner" - to face her fears of money and to take responsibility for her own finances. Today, Ms. Salamone is a Chartered Life Underwriter and a lecturer at the Center for Financial Studies in New York and at New York University . She has served on the board of directors of the Society of Financial Service Professionals. She has learned to balance her checkbook, and is committed to using what she knows to help other women overcome their fears of managing their money.

Nancy is the Founder and President of Turning The Corner and the developer of Turning The Corner's landmark national program " The Business of Me ". The “Business of Me” program is designed to help women achieve personal financial health and independence, putting them in control of their own money. To support the work of Turning The Corner you can click this link: help us help end domestic violence or contact Nancy Salamone at Turning The Corner . Thank you for your support. It is essential to Turning The Corner and makes our work possible.

Learn more about The Business of Me .

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