Domestic violence is so prevalent in American today that for countless women intimacy with a man becomes a devastating encounter with betrayal, humiliation, shame, degradation, and fear. For some the domestic violence includes physical violence. Based on information collected annually by the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the United States National Crime Victimization Survey estimates that women suffer the preponderance of domestic violence at the hands of current or former intimate partners. Social scientists suspect that these self–reported figures are dramatic underestimates—that for a variety of reasons many more women are not admitting their physical abuse to authorities and perhaps even to themselves. There are many myths surrounding the idea that both men and women are equally responsible for domestic violence. As we will see, nothing could be further from the truth. Documentation from a variety of sources attests to the critical nature of intimate violence against women and its consequences. James Mercy and Linda Saltzman i, researchers with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, determined that the leading cause of injury to women in the United States is intimate partner violence. Jacqueline Campbell and Daniel Sheridan ii report that approximately 20 to 50 percent of all female medical emergency patients are victims of domestic and Murray Straus iii estimated that women make 1,453,437 medical visits per year for treatment of injuries resulting from an assault from a domestic violence relationship. Although we sometimes hear the contrary, men execute domestic violence predominantly and it is the man's brutality that underlies most intimate partner violence. Any argument that men and women contribute comparably to partner violence must either dismiss or ignore the overwhelming amount of information to the contrary. Evidence from criminal and divorce courts, police, medical, and social service agencies, and surveys asking respondents to recall incidents that they considered to be violent finds women far more likely than men to be victims of domestic violence iv. The practical experience of and contact with these women by Turning The Corner also bears out these facts. Consider for example the fact that the National Crime Victimization Survey estimated v that there were about a million rapes, sexual assaults, robberies, aggravated assaults, and simple assaults perpetrated against current or former spouses, boyfriends, and girlfriends, and that more than 80 percent of these violent crimes involved a female victim of domestic violence vi. From all information available it can fairly be concluded that even though similar proportions of men and women may engage in at least one of the angry or defensive acts toward their mates, when put in context and participant interpretation and injury are considered, between 80 percent and 95 percent of offensive intimate domestic violence is perpetrated by men vii. During the twenty years between 1976 and 1996, current or former husbands and boyfriends killed 31,269 women in the United States and 20,311 men in the United States were killed by current or former wives and girlfriends viii. From an interpretation of these figures only the uninformed might conclude that this is evidence that both men and women are fatally abusive but that men are just over one–and–a–half times more likely to be the perpetrator of domestic violence than women. That is not true however because men typically kill women as an act of dominance and control, while women typically kill men while defending themselves, their children or both. These acts of domestic violence might be looked upon as similar but are not similar at all when meaning and context are considered. A predominant phenomenon in domestic violence is battering. Men use battering against women as an obsessive campaign of coercion and intimidation designed by the man to dominate and control a woman in domestic violent relationships. This occurs in the personal context of intimacy and thrives in the sociopolitical climate of patriarchy. For the woman domestic violence is a terrifying process of progressive entrapment into an intimate relationship of subjection that is promoted and preserved by a social order steeped in gender hierarchy - where mainstream ideology and social institutions and organizations, including the criminal justice system, the church, social service and medical institutions, the family, and the community, recognize male privilege and accordingly relegate a secondary status to women. Sometimes domestic violence, taking the form of physical violence is incorporated into the male's battering agenda. When less risky intimidation strategies such as yelling, threatening, stalking, and harming the family pet fail, a man may think that he has to resort to assaulting his mate or their children with the overwhelming potential to cause serious injury or even death. This form of domestic violence is perpetrated by men against women in order to maintain control over her. In the face of defiance or even simple resistance on the part of the woman victim of domestic violence the male batterer may feel forced to appeal to her most basic need for physical safety. That is what battering is all about: a man using male privilege derived from a patriarchal social structure to coerce a woman, sometimes through fear for her very life, into an exploitive intimate relationship that holds her hostage and in servitude to his personal needs and desires, thereby maintaining the domestic violence relationship. With the weight of society behind him, a man is able to gain deference, and all that goes with it, from a woman. A batterer may speak of killing “his woman” and sometimes in a violent rage bring her near to death. These near fatal incidents are deliberate and desperate reminders to her of his ultimate power in the domestic violence relationship. The man does not really want the woman to die as, after all, she is in so many ways his lifeline. What he hopes to accomplish is to convince her of his power over her very life, in hopes that such a realization will keep her “in her place” so that he may maintain the domestic violence relationship. Only infrequently does assault in the context of battering prove fatal, and that happens in three general contexts: (1) when an intended nonfatal attack on a woman goes awry; (2) when the batterer believes he is no longer able to control the woman in life - she has escaped him - so he kills her as a gesture of ultimate control (“If I can't have you, no one else can”); and (3) when a battered woman, fearing for her life or those of her children, strikes back fatally. It becomes clear that battering and all domestic violence is a control mechanism over a woman that thrives within the larger system of patriarchy that is an all too prevalent trait in today's world. It reflects the patriarchal legacy of male ownership as it persists into romantic relationships, including marriage. Battering is the systematic abuse, by a man, of societally bestowed male privilege to exploit a wife or other female intimate companion in the domestic violence relationship. Men are able to intimidate and coerce women to their benefit because our world favors men and thwarts women at every turn ix. It orchestrates women's emotional and economic dependence on men. Girls are taught to believe that in order to be whole they must please and be desired by men. The socialization of women emphasizes the primary value of being a good wife and mother at the expense of personal achievement in other realms of life. It is no surprise then that women in the United States who are employed full - time earn, on the average, 75.5 percent of the amount earned by their male counterparts x. Indeed, women are programmed to willfully play into a social order that minimizes their value and sense of self-worth. Women, who do manage to escape the domestic violence relationship and find assistance, most often arrive at shelters with few resources other than the clothes on their backs. Some are crippled with debt – their own or their partner's, a factor that too often keeps the women victim of domestic violence in the relationship. Other women tumble into debt after they have left violent situations because they overspend on impulse or budget improperly. Few address the emotional and psychological issues resulting from their poor financial choices. Rarely is a survivor of domestic violence accustomed to managing her own money. This is where organizations like Turning The Corner play such a vital role in helping to end the recurrence of domestic violence and break the cycle of violence against women. Hundreds of millions of dollars are spent annually on legal, health and welfare services as a result of domestic violence xi. The cost to American communities, frightened women and children, healthcare, counseling and welfare services are monumental. Clearly, it is imperative that domestic violence becomes a matter of focused public concern. Unfortunately, many people view domestic violence as a private matter in which “outsiders” should not interfere. It is not easy for Americans to accept that our homes and families may be the setting for dangerous and life-threatening violence. Learning the truths and myths associated with domestic violence, the effect it has on children, how the judicial system addresses it, and how social workers approach the problem can aid society and professionals in finding solutions to the widespread crisis of domestic violence. Click here to Help Us Help End Domestic Violence About Nancy Salamone Ms. Salamone's previous corporate career includes twenty years at major New York City insurance and financial companies. She rose to the rank of vice president of marketing. She managed corporate budgets in excess of $20 million. But for most of her life, whenever she had to balance her own checkbook, she froze, terrorized. Although she was her household's wage earner, she turned over her entire paycheck to her husband, who retained tight control over all family finances. Although she regularly advised huge corporations how, why, and when to spend their money, she could not imagine how she could manage her money on her own. Finally, in late 1991, Ms. Salamone found the courage to leave her abusive husband and to "turn the corner" - to face her fears of money and to take responsibility for her own finances. Today, Ms. Salamone is a Chartered Life Underwriter and a lecturer at the Center for Financial Studies in New York and at New York University . She has served on the board of directors of the Society of Financial Service Professionals. She has learned to balance her checkbook, and is committed to using what she knows to help other women overcome their fears of managing their money. Nancy is the Founder and CEO of Turning
The Corner and the developer of Turning The Corner's landmark
national program " The
Business of Me ". The “Business of Me” program is designed
to help women achieve personal financial health and independence,
putting them in control of their own money. To support the work
of Turning The Corner you can click this link: help
us help end domestic violence or contact Nancy
Salamone at Turning
The Corner . Learn more about The Business of Me . Click here to back to the index of Domestic Violence article i 1989 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention |
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