Domestic violence has escalated throughout American homes. Many wonder about the causes. People hold many beliefs about domestic violence. Those beliefs have evolved into myths involving the victims, perpetrators, and others not directly involved. The myths about domestic violence can be broken down as those about causes and incidence, the women, the men, and myths about possible solutions. One widespread myth about domestic violence involves the supposition that domestic violence is not a serious social problem. It is difficult to know the true extent of domestic violence because of:
Another myth about domestic violence is that wife battering is a predominantly lower class phenomenon, and that it occurs more often among certain ethnic groups. Research has indicated that there are no socio-economic barriers to domestic violence and patterns of domestic violence do not vary between different subcultures since domestic violence can show itself in any society that has an unequal power balance between men and women. ii Another myth surrounding the victims of domestic violence operates on the assumption that women provoke the domestic violence. It is widely held that the women's “nagging” or other unreasonable provocations push men to the point of domestic violence. These so-called provocations range from not having dinner on the table at the right time to going out with friends to socialize. It is difficult to comprehend why women in domestic violence relationships do not leave. The belief that it is easy to leave is a myth, as well. There are many economic, social, and emotional factors that make it difficult for these victims of domestic violence to leave their partners. The reasons women stay or return is far more complicated than the weakness of their character. A significant proportion of women who return to the domestic violence relationship attribute their inability to deal with their finances as a major contributing factor,iii which is often heightened by the fact that the abuser often keeps all the economic and social standing.iv This is where Turning The Corner comes in. There are many factors that keep victims from leaving domestic violence relationships. Some include economic dependence, social isolation, fear of reprisals, a lack of knowledge about accessing help, and the shame of submitting to years of abuse. Many of these women have been worn down to the point of having no confidence in themselves or their own abilities v. That men cannot or will not change is still another associated myth. Some men may appear to change in the short term by controlling their aggressive behavior but compensate with other forms of control in the domestic violence relationship. That is because attitudinal change is a difficult and time-consuming process. Research has shown that at least forty percent of abusive men continue to beat their partners vi. The notion that the relationship will improve is yet another myth that has clouded the solution to domestic violence. These relationships are stubborn and resistant to change without specific intervention. The likelihood of domestic violence disappearing is improbable. Even with professional help, change is slow and difficult. Domestic violence should never be an acceptable method of gaining control over a loved one. Accountability for domestic violence rests with the perpetrator, not the victim. Click here to Help Us Help End Domestic Violence About Nancy Salamone Ms. Salamone's previous corporate career includes twenty years at major New York City insurance and financial companies. She rose to the rank of vice president of marketing. She managed corporate budgets in excess of $20 million. But for most of her life, whenever she had to balance her own checkbook, she froze, terrorized. Although she was her household's wage earner, she turned over her entire paycheck to her husband, who retained tight control over all family finances. Although she regularly advised huge corporations how, why, and when to spend their money, she could not imagine how she could manage her money on her own. Finally, in late 1991, Ms. Salamone found the courage to leave her abusive husband and to "turn the corner" - to face her fears of money and to take responsibility for her own finances. Today, Ms. Salamone is a Chartered Life Underwriter and a lecturer at the Center for Financial Studies in New York and at New York University . She has served on the board of directors of the Society of Financial Service Professionals. She has learned to balance her checkbook, and is committed to using what she knows to help other women overcome their fears of managing their money. Nancy is the Founder and President of Turning
The Corner and the developer of Turning The Corner's landmark
national program " The
Business of Me ". The “Business
of Me” program is designed to help women achieve personal financial
health and independence, putting them in control of their own money.
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Nancy Salamone at
Turning The Corner Learn more about The Business of Me . Click here to back to the index of Domestic Violence articles i NSW
Domestic Violence Committee , 1991 |
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